Pulse

  • Quick poll for married folk. Do you celebrate the anniversary of the day you got engaged....even after you're married?
  • A reporter just called me trying to get a comment on the "state of your company". That doesn't bode well.
  • I don't understand why people have such a hard time understanding satire? It's like the litmus test for idiots.

Weblog

Monday, 30 November 2009

  • A challenge

    Ok; this day has been freckled with fecal matter...so I've decided to take it upon myself to throw down a challenge.


    The challenge: Write down 25 Random things you love in less than 10min.


    (s/o's and family don't count...too easy)


    I'll start..and hopefully...this'll keep on going.


    1) shooting stars (I've only seen 3 and I hearted every one of them)

    2) really cold apple juice

    3) spinning tops..I don't know why..I think they're amazing

    4) paper airplanes

    5) Q-tips ( I dunno...they're cute)

    6) cookies

    7) popping balloons

    8) body length pillows

    9) the sound of heart beats

    10) the sound of pop cans as you open them

    11) light switches that click loudly

    12) french windows

    13) cold room....warm bed

    (shit 3min already!!)

    14) the click of 3ring binders as you open and close them

    15) clip boards...dunno why

    16) paint brush bristles

    17) fresh bread

    18) the icing that sticks to the knife

    19) hardwood floors

    20) waffles

    21) baby animals

    22) kites

    23) clothes freshly out of the drier

    24) the smell of indoor pools

    25) elastic bands



    Ok...now it's your turn....list away...and brighten your day! Weeeeeee!


  • Cuteness on this level....can kill...you've been warned!



    Oh...and here's a Modern Warfare 2 ad that's g'damn priceless ..the smack talk....delicious

Friday, 27 November 2009

  • An Ode to Maleness

    An Ode to Maleness

     


    Xanga for me is entertainment. But I’ve found that the majority of articles appear to be written by women, for women, or by men trying to appeal to women. The comments are stacked on the side of the so-called fairer sex even so far as having more women commenting on Mancouch then men.

     

    http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre0769l.jpg


    Maleness has slipped into being simplified to ogling pretty girls and powerful cars. Men are encouraged to get in touch with their feminine side with the underlying unsaid acumen being that they are to abandon their masculine side. We’re bombarded with feministic points of views of the world that hold strong females up as heroines and keep strong males down as cavemen. I’m tired of it.


    http://tdaait.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/strong_woman.jpg http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/myspace-comments/funny/ufc-caveman-clay-guida.jpg

     

    Being male is a lot more than just grunting, eating meat, and watching sports. Your role as a man is to be more than this. You’re a caretaker, a provider, a security guard, a bug squasher, and much more. You can be relied on when emergencies call for you. It’s “women and children first” for a reason. Being male is an honor and you should have respect for yourself and your fathers before you.


    http://images.celeb9.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/harrison_ford1509.jpg

     http://blogs.amctv.com/future-of-classic/superman560.jpg


     When young boys grow up and are asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The answers are usually clear, “Firefighter”, “Policeman”, “Astronaut”, “Doctor”. Each of these professions used to be the exclusive domain of men. I’m not saying it’s bad for women to be in these roles, but I ask you to look at these professions and what they represent. They represent the ideals of what it means to be a man; to be a hero, to be there when people need you, to be an explorer, an adventurer, to push the boundaries of your abilities.

     

    http://astrogeology.usgs.gov/HotTopics/uploads/144685main_aldrin_moon.jpg  http://ramblingsofpassion.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/051201_tiananmen-square_ex.jpg


    I’m balking at this burgeoning acceptance of the weak man; the acceptance of the fearful man. It makes me sick. You’re allowed to be weak but don’t let it be your identity. You’re allowed to be fearful, but don’t let it cripple you. Men need to rise up, take action, straighten their backs and remember what it means to stand for something.


    http://www.myhero.com/images/firemen/timefire1.gif


    http://www.writespirit.net/inspirational_talks/political/martin_luther_king_talks/martin-luther-king2.jpg





    What about you?


    What does being male mean to you?


    Who are your male role models?


    ...and to the women...


    What are the masculine traits that you want to see most in your men?


Thursday, 26 November 2009

  • It's all about me....

    Screw you all....no one wants to give me suggestions for new lists...so....to hell with it..I'm going to write whatever the fuck I want....and if you like it...or find it interesting....yippy skippy.



    Okie...so I've posted before about how I want to make changes to my house in the near future......



    I've decided that I want to replace the tub that we currently have, a cast iron clawfoot tub;






    ...with a modern steam shower. =)



    Personally...I hate clawfoot tubs. They creep me out. I've got some seriously negative associations with them due to bad events in my past. (that I'd rather not blarg about on this blog). They're hard to keep clean; often stain; and can get really cold really quickly. Notice the airspace under the tub? Well water and gunk gets there, and you have to figure out a way to clean it somehow. The air movement also assists in cooling the tub, making it incredibly inefficient. Lastly, you usually have to use a shower hose, but the shower curtain doesn't close around the tub very well which causes a mess.


    Now....what about a steam shower? What is a steam shower? Do you know what a steam shower is? If you do...you probably want one too.

    A steam shower is a thing of beauty. It's luxurious, relaxing, and produces a delicious feeling of contentment that you normally would have to pay big bucks at a spa for. Surprisingly it's actually affordable! (affordable meaning can be bought for less then $1000...but the really good ones are more expensive)

    See the thing is, my wife isn't the bubble bath type. As a man's man...I'm not a bubble bath person either. (surprised?)


    However, as a lifelong swimmer, I adore the water. I love the feeling that water gives me. Think about it with me right now. After a long hard day at work, or a hard workout, doesn't it feel fantastic to walk into the shower and feel the warm water cascading down your body? The warmth surrounds you and tantalizes your senses. Your breathing slows, your mind calms down, and you can fully relax. Love it. Now....here's a steam shower:


    (is it just me, or does it look like the designers ripped this off of a Star Trek set?)



    (this one is expensive....really expensive...really really expensive...it's $21,000 )


    (this one has a steam and tub component....interesting)



    (these shower's are actually surprisingly expensive...about $14,000)



    (do you see how many nozzles? 24 steam nozzles and a rain-shower head....lovely)

    A steam shower surrounds you in therapeutic steam. There is no tub to soak in (in most cases), the water surrounds you in any position you stand or sit. Your body is hit with multiple adjustable sprays ensuring maximum effect. Doesn't that sound enjoyable? It uses far less water than a tub, it's got less of a footprint so it can fit in smaller spaces, and it's just better in every way.

    So that's my plan....out with the old crappy cast iron clawfoot creepy tub that often gives me nightmares....and in with the therapeutic, relaxing, efficient, and simply sexy steam shower. w00t



    What about you? Is there something that you just gotta have in your house that you don't currently?...and why don't you have it ?

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

  • I'm not gay...but.....

    I love .....Dance shows.....


    http://aschueb3616.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/so_you_think_you_can_dance_tv_poster1.jpg


    I realize that my fellow men will look at me...mouth agape and say "Oh no...we've lost another manly man to the metro-wave of insanity" but trust me brothers...it is not so...and you have nothing to fear.



    http://www.etonline.com/media/photo/2009/04/86206/400_dwts09_gmarini_cburke_090406_kmcneal_abc.jpg
    (Cheryl Burke's "O" face?)


    Dance shows allow me to sit with my wife, and watch very sexy, scantily clad, and highly flexible women, prance about a stage to music.


    http://shawnbyfield.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/so-you-think-you-can-dance-canada-top-girls1.jpg
    (I don't even know any of their names.)


    I neither have to pay for this "service", nor am I going to get in trouble for watching the girls every move.


    http://www.pbpulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/top3girls_sytycd.jpg
    (Isn't this move on page 36 of the Kama Sutra?)


    I'm actually expected to watch intently, giving intelligent reviews of the dance such as "wow...they jumped high...n stuff". Or "hey..she's really improved hasn't she?"


    http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/8300000/Karina-s-Sexy-Anti-Fur-PETA-Ad-dancing-with-the-stars-8309110-1943-2560.jpg
    (it took me about 5min to figure out this was another PETA ad)




    So men, when your s/o asks you to watch that dance show that you really dread....don't fear it...and don't run..embrace it....enjoy the show...and get points from your partner for being so cultured. Double win!


Titanic_Spaz

  • Visit Titanic_Spaz's Xanga Site
    • Member Since: 11/18/2008

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About Me

  • I’m married, I’m Canadian, and I love satire, sarcasm and wit. If you’re here and you’re asking yourself “Who is this idiotic asshole!”, you likely just read one of my satirical blogs, took it way too literally, and now you should feel a little silly for doing so. I’m not a homophobe, nor am I a misogynistic, moron of a man. I’m intelligent, accepting of others, and thoroughly enjoy mocking those that aren’t.

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